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thinking out loud

  • Jun. 17th, 2014 at 11:02 PM
hairy eyeball
My supervisor told me she wanted me on second shift all the time with her. It is cool to be wanted by one of the boss type people. It is.  What isn't awesome is she told me, when I said I would like to see Jeff at times, is that I have forever with Jeff.
I have forever to make do with stupid jobs that pay bills. People I love aren't in short supply but they are not so plentiful on the ground in hugging range that I can just take them for granted. I suck at people. I don't understand them and I can't keep them in my life because I am usually trying to figure out their perspective instead of just asking them and explaining mine and well my brain doesn't empathize that easily.
My dad died a year into his second marriage. He got fatally hit the night before his anniversary and spent three days dying. They thought they had forever together as well. There is no reason to work with someone who expects a dead end job to have priority above people. Especially people I love. Forever can be such a short time.

Nov. 24th, 2013

  • 8:54 AM
hairy eyeball
I can't tell if it's new relationship lala land or if I am incapable of maintaining friendships. I think it may be a bit of column a and a tad of column b.

Jan. 20th, 2013

  • 1:14 PM
hairy eyeball
also I apparently asked my dad for advice more than I thought I did. Or used for a sounding board more than I thought I did. The bus driver who ran him down due to not looking at the road, doing paperwork, when my dad was stopped because of the flashing emergency vehicle lights got a continuance on his trial.


  • Dec. 17th, 2012 at 11:04 PM
hairy eyeball

I remind myself of the words to this song to myself sometimes. It has such a different meaning now then it did when I was a kid.

truth and compassion

  • Dec. 12th, 2012 at 6:14 PM
hairy eyeball
things apply to your life as if they were placed there when you are ready for them. It is a world filled with images and some of them will speak to you. Some of them will stop you.

Truth seems to be a repeating theme in my life lately. I think it is something I need to stare at for a while.

I've been super angsty in LJ lately

  • May. 29th, 2012 at 11:38 PM
hairy eyeball
Cause I use it as a mental sounding board and crying wall and so forth. I just wanted to say today was a good day. I enjoyed it.


  • Apr. 18th, 2012 at 2:57 PM
Hypothesis 1: We have values in common
Hypothesis 2: I could trust you
Test 1: Friendship
Test 2: Friendship
Test 3: Friendship
Tests 1-3 conclusive evidence hypotheses 1&2 are false.

not changing my flight.

  • Aug. 1st, 2010 at 8:03 PM
hairy eyeball
 The cost is ridiculous. I could probably get a new flight for that cost. Maryann rest in peace. She was the best.

so full of sushi

  • Jun. 27th, 2010 at 7:53 PM
hairy eyeball
Why is it with sushi you don't feel full untill a roll past when you should have stopped. Does it expand in the belly?
Cobra-poison none may leech--
Even so with Cobra-speech.
Open talk shall call to thee
Strength, whose mate is Courtesy.
-Rudyard Kipling

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